Oh deployment, how I hate thee

Alright, its official I am over this deployment.  We have made it past the halfway point, which is exciting.  I will be so happy when Ben is back home and we can do stuff together and just spend time with each other.  I miss seeing his face.  I am starting to get the miss-you-blues again like I had after week 2 of him being gone. 

Peace, love, & grace
Allie

9 Months of Happy

So today makes 9 months since the Ben and I started dating :)  They have been the most happy and wonderful 9 months ever! :)
Even though he is away right now every morning I look forward to waking up to a new email in my Inbox.  It really is a great way to start the day happy :)
Even though we are separated by thousands of miles right now he still can put a smile on my face!!

Peace, love, & grace
Allie

Stuck

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a rut and can't get out!  That is exactly how I am feeling right now.  All I want to do is be in a different stage in my life but I feel like it is going to take me a million years to get there.  Its like running a race and being the last one to cross the finish line...watching the everyone else as they triumph to victory.
I really wish I was done with school about now and making more money than I am.

-rant over

Peace, love, & grace
Allie

'The One'

Love or REAL Love?
How do you know the difference?  Does it feel different?  Does it look different? 

      I have only been in 1 relationship before I started dating Ben.  I wouldn't really call it a relationship either, it was more like relationSHIT.  Its funny how you think you know what love is until you actually fall completely 100% in REAL love with someone.  I've always grown up hearing people say that you will know when you find 'the one'.  It is just an overwhelming feeling that you get when you know everything is right, and you have no doubts.  
      I guess you could call me a late bloomer when it comes to the dating world but, I really wanted to get eo know myself more before I started dating someone.  I wanted to know what I was all about and what I wanted in my own life before I went out searching for a person that would want to share in these adventures.  The funny thing is that part of finding out who you are is by meeting new people and dating.  Not only was I going to date but I set out on the task to find 'the one'.  Let me tell you that although you may get the dating blues, you will learn more about yourself and what you want than at any other time.  

       I am really shy and for me to go on a date with some random guy is already a big step.  To take it to the next level and put myself out there on a dating site was an even bigger step for me.  A little over a year ago I had decided after my birthday I was tired of watching my friends living so happily with boyfriends or girlfriends that I wanted a piece of this happiness pie.  I have seen from experience that dating isn't always rainbows and butterflies but I was willing to take on the chance of heartbreak.  I was also willing to put forth 100% effort to make a relationship work.
      I met some interesting people, many of which only had the chance of going on 1 date with me.  I always wondered how I would know if  I had chemistry with someone, how would I know if I should date this person.  Let me tell you right now, YOU KNOW!
      I went into each date with the mindset of "can I see myself with this person?"  I didn't want to waste my or any of the guys time when I already knew that this is what I was looking for,  to meet 'the one'.
      I met a total of 7 guys from online.  Through my experience I am very glad with the route I took.  It was completely unlike me and I ended up learning a lot more about myself than I ever thought I would have if I had never done on-line dating.  
      Going through my experience I thought I had found love.  To which I thought that I was in real love with him.  Looking back it saddens me that I was pressured into giving up the 3 most important words that you can say to a person.  
      How do I know I wasn't in REAL love?   Since I have been dating Ben I can truly say that I know what REAL love is.  It feels completely different that anything I have ever felt before.  

Sometimes its hard to find the right words to express to someone how much you care about them.  For me it is a lot easier to write down how I feel.  I believe that each person in the relationship deserves to know how you feel about one another.  Life is too short to beat around the bush and say, "we'll get to how we feel later."  I believe with a passion that it is better to tell someone how you feel and get hurt than to never tell them at all.  Life is about risks and sometimes you have to put your heart and emotions on the line.

So to Ben I want to say...I love you with all my heart and soul and I truly believe that you are 'the one' for me.  I can't imagine going through my life with anyone else.  You have made me happier than I have ever been in my life.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I want to bring as much happiness to your life as you have brought to mine.

 I feel 1000x better for knowing that you know how I truly feel no matter how you feel in return.

Peace, love, & grace

Allie

Deployment

Ben left on May 25 and I miss him soo much!  Leading up to the deployment I was very emotional by my standards.  If you know me then you know that this is really real.  I don't hardly cry much but I have cried more over Ben leaving than I have my whole life.  The goodbye was the worst.  We had 2 goodbyes, an 'ugly goodbye' and a 'happy goodbye'.  The 'ugly goodbye' was awful!!  I was crying, Ben was crying and that was just the start of the sadness.
The first 2 weeks weren't too bad as I had things to keep me preoccupied.  This week however has been really rough.  I have been really sad and feel really alone.  I am crying everyday and multiple times a day.  It has just been a LOT harder than I thought it would ever be.  I guess when you love someone as much as I love Ben it makes it that much harder to adjust to life without them for 6  months.
I felt really bad the other day cause I broke down on skype when we were talking to each other.  He knew there was something wrong with me and I didn't want to end up crying in front of him (me trying to be strong).  Well, that didn't work.  I was balling like a baby.
We get to talk to each other a lot so that is not the issue.  I was just telling him how happy I was that I am dealing with modern technology because waiting for a letter would really suck!  I'm glad time is passing quick for him, but for me days seem to last like weeks.  He works 24on/24off, so we talk on skype every other day.  I wish we could talk everyday on skype but I'll take what I can get.  When he is working he e-mails me.

I just need to take it one day at a time and know that it will go by quick.  I just need to keep positive and keep busy.  I think though right now I am stuck in a rut and I just have to get out because I can't stand feeling sad all the time.  I am not a sad person by nature.  I will just have to ask God to help me through this and give me strength.  The problems is not if I can last 6 months, because I can.  Ben is more than worth waiting 6 months for.  I love him with every ounce of my being. 



Peace, love, & grace
Allie

How do you sit through class while the person next to you is using a mechanical pencil?  This may sound funny but this question came to life for me today.  The girl sitting next to me in class was using a mechanical pencil today, no big deal right?  Wrong, the big deal was that she was doodling out of boredom and her pencil was making the absolute worst screeching noise!  I know all of you mechanical pencil users out there know what I'm talking about.  I myself have experienced the screech while using a mechanical pencil, but you stop doing whatever it is that is causing the screech.  I mean come on its common courtesy.  If it is something that you think is annoying, chances are someone or others think it is annoying as well.  Obviously this girl didn't have common courtesy sense because she just kept screeching that pencil.  I did look over a few times to show my hatred for the noise. 
Just know that if you are ever intend on using a mechanical pencil and the screeching begins, know that someone around you is annoyed so QUIT!

Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Happy Valentine's Day!

I love my boyfriend soo much!!  He had to work today so we celebrated on Saturday night.  He took me out to dinner at Maggiano's.  We had a great time and a fabulous dinner :)  Today I was surprised with a bouquet of roses from him when I got home.
I got Ben a photo frame with the first and only picture of us together.  I also made him a teddy bear from Build-a-bear and dressed the bear in a Michigan football uniform and had his name monogrammed on the back.  Then of course I had to get him some chocolates lol.

I would like to say Happy Valentine's day to all of you out there!  Enjoy your day!

Peace, grace, & love
Allie

LOVE

Gator Bowl 2011

A few years ago I would have laughed at the idea that I would ever find someone I love.  I was living life hoping that the guy of my dreams would find me and I wouldn't have to do anything.  (I guess I watched too many Disney princess movies as a child) Something changed on my birthday a few years ago.  I decided that if I ever wanted to have a happily ever after of my own I needed to put myself out there and make myself available.  Ben and I met on-line, and started talking near the end of September.  Today there's no laughing because I am absolutely happy as ever with my boyfriend Ben.  We have been dating for a little over 4 months now and I am so in love!! :)  He makes me VERY happy.

"Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart."

-Author unknown

I found this quote and thought is summed up things pretty darn well :)

Peace, grace, & love 

Allie

Sleep deprived!

I need sleep!!  I am the worst when it comes to getting good sleep.  I always say that I am going to go to bed early but without fail it NEVER happens.  I am up doing what?  Nothing of any importance, just browsing the web, writing blogs, or watching TV.
Thats why I love Fridays!  I have at least one day a week I know I can sleep in. Now whether or not the sleep is good is a whole other ball field.  Last night was terrible I kept waking up in the middle of the night.  Then there is the absolute worst thing...waking up with back pain!  I hate it!  Why should I wake up with any aches, I'm only 23.  To add to that I have memory foam on my bed, isn't that supposed to help you sleep even better? I'm confused what am I doing wrong at night?  Help!!


Peace, grace & love
Allie

Stripes

I think I have a problem!  I just bought 2 more articles of clothing to add to my already overwhelming collection of clothes with stripes.  I know everyone has their fallback favorite type of clothes to buy.  Mine seem to be stripes.  I just bought a dress and shirt with stripes.  And to get even more detailed I tend to be drawn towards navy stripes.  What is it about stripes?!

Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Out with January in with February

Where did the month go?!  I mean just yesterday we were celebrating New Years and now the 1st month of the year is officially over.  I remember being young and thinking that a month was really long and now it just seems like a blur.  Life seems to speed up when you get older.  Long gone are the days when time seemed like an infinity. 

Peace, grace, & love
Allie

The Magic School Bus

Totally just had a flashback to the good'ol days when I was a kid.  You've gotta love Saturday morning cartoons!  As I was flipping around to find something on I stumbled upon, 'The Magic School Bus'.  We used to watch that show all the time in school.  Maybe the teachers were being lazy and didn't feel like teaching so they just popped in a cartoon instead, who knows.  All I know is that it was a great way to start off this gorgeous Saturday morning!!

Peace, love & grace
Allie

Forever XXI

So after work today I made a trip to Forever XXI.  It takes so long to get through that store, there's too much to look at its very overwhelming.  Like always I took a pile of clothes into the fitting room and this time unlike most times I walked out with more keepers than non-keepers!  What an excellent feeling!!  So I thought I would share with you some of my finds.  Sorry for the lame phone in the photo but it was the best i could do. lol

I did find a few tops that I liked but I resisted and didn't but them.  I figured that right now I wouldn't be wearing them so it wasn't worth the buy.  They were polyester tanks...I'll just wait til spring or summer to pick up some new tanks. 


Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Indescribable perfume

Today I positioned myself one chair from the end of the second row.  Class was about to start with a minute to go as one more student walks in the door and eyes the aisle seat next to me that is hers for the taking.  I know what you are thinking, no big deal so someone sat next to you.  Ya I thought the same thing until she was sitting next to me and a smell drifted through the air.  I caught wind to the most indescribable perfume I have ever smelled.  It was very musky and it gave me a headache during class.  It was one of those oh my gosh I have to move away from you smells.  I couldn't concentrate during class because all I could think about was how terrible this smell was.  Its funny because to you the smell may be one of the worst but for the person wearing the perfume, they smell it completely different.

I know I'm not the only person that has experienced sitting next to or by someone that smells.  I found this article online about a Passenger with 'brutal' smell escorted off flight.  Can you imagine smelling so terrible that you are escorted off your flight?!  WOW!!

I believe the sense of smell is one of the most powerful senses.  After you smell someone and it is not pleasant we automatically give that person a mental scarlet letter.  Nobody wants to compared to Pigpen from the Peanuts but I'm sorry I have to say the girl that sat next to me received a mental scarlet letter today.


Peace, grace, & love
Allie

New Dress a Day

So one day while I was once again perusing the internet I stumbled across this blog and I wanted to share it with you. Its called New Dress a Day and pretty much this girl would get hideous old dresses (1 every day) and give them new life all on a budget of $365.  Its great to see that she has inspired other ladies out there to blow the dust off their sewing machines and get to crafting.  I have taken some photos from her before and after gallery to give you an idea of what she has done.  Also to show you how hideous the dresses were before.

Before

After

This makes me want to go to Goodwill and check out the hideous dresses they have and maybe give them some new life.   If I happen to make it to Goodwill I will be sure to post my own before and after pictures for you all.

Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Black nail polish was a phase, I'm moving on

So not too long ago I joined the band wagon of wearing black nail polish.  Who would have thought that I would be wearing black nail polish?  Not my mom thats for sure.  I remember randomly one day asking my mom if she ever thought her daughter would wear black nail polish and she answered with a firm 'NO'.
I started back in 2007 wearing black nail polish.  I remember going to Walgreens with my friend Melissa and buying a bottle of black nail polish and a bottle of white nail polish.  I thought ya I'll give this a whirl.  At first I hated it because I thought it made me look even whiter that I already am, if that is possible.  However, after wearing it constantly it grew on me and for the longest time it was the only color I wore on my nails. 
I wore the black nail polish not too long ago and my boyfriend kept making comments of his hatred of the black on my nails, so I figure it's probably over stayed its welcome.  I have since moved on to brighter and bolder colors.  I have bought several nail polishes from Forever XXI.  I would absolutely recommend their polishes.  They have lots of colors to choose from, they are cheap ($2.80), and they dry fast.  Essie is a great line that also dries fast and has tons of unique colors which are often featured in magazines.  Usually Essie is $8 but I found it recently at Walmart for $7.75.

I know I said the black was a phase, but I saw this really neat nail polish that I will probably buy and its made by O.P.I..  It is a black crackle finish.  If anything I just want to try it, it looks interesting.

I'll keep you posted on the crackle finish black.


Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Teleportation

Does it sound stupid that I really wish this existed?  I mean come on the 'missing you blues' would no longer exist and suddenly you could just pop in on people that you haven't seen in forever with the help of a machine.
It sounds so scientific I wonder if this is actually possible.  So, I did a little perusing on the internet and this is what I found out about teleportation.
" Teleportation involves dematerializing an object at one point, and sending the details of that object's precise atomic configuration to another location, where it will be reconstructed. What this means is that time and space could be eliminated from travel -- we could be transported to any location instantly, without actually crossing a physical distance.   It was then that physicist Charles Bennett and a team of researchers at IBM confirmed that quantum teleportation was possible, but only if the original object being teleported was destroyed." 
The article goes on to say that they have been successful in the transportation of protons.  Come on though we all are dying to know when humans will be able to use this ever so helpful device.  Or maybe is it safe for us to use?  Well all I know is that since Star Trek I think everyone has been waiting for this to pop on the shelves of your local walmart.  Teleport anywhere you want for  5 easy payments of  5999.99, but thats not all we will throw in a Captin Spock costume so you can look the part of a treckie as you teleport all over the world.
Hmm so maybe we are well on our way to seeing teleportation.  I know one thing is for sure...it will make travel a whole heck of a lot easier.  I mean just think about all the things that you hate about traveling now.  Those are all gone.  How absolutely great does that sound?!

 Peace, grace, & love,
Allie


Bonsor, Kevin.  "How Teleportation Will Work"  25 October 2000.  HowStuffWorks.com. <http://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/everyday-myths/teleportation.htm>  26 January 2011.

Grace

Can I please get a little help in the grace department?  Seriously when it rains it pours and yesterday it did exactly that.  We aren't talking about negative events that happen continuously in one day, but rather rain.
Yesterday it rained, the entire day, which is fine, but add a backpack to your back umbrella in one hand phone and purse in another and you've got a mess waiting to happen.  I was ever so worried about my computer in my backpack being ruined by the terenchal downpours that were not ceasing.  So I decided to take one for the team and swing my backpack around to my stomach and protect my backpack as if it were out in the world for the first time.  I know I must have look ridiculous and un-put together and lets just say graceless.
How do I sign-up for more grace?  Can I pre-order some now for later, when I am stuck in moments like described above?

How do some women look like everything they do is so put together and effortless.  They don't have to try, everything is easy and they do it all while wearing 4" heels.  Can you say GRACE.  Well I guess we are all gifted in different departments and grace wasn't one of them for me.  All I can do is keep trying and put 1 foot in front of the other and pray that I don't tumble over, and I'm not even wearing 4" heels.  Is there any way I can appear more graceful?  Let me know if you have any tips, would love to hear them.


Peace, grace, & love
Allie

Missing you

Does missing someone ever get easier?  I guess if you look at it in terms of technology missing someone has gotten easier.  Helpful tools like phones, skype, and facebook help keep us in constant contact with the ones we love.
When you are so used to seeing that person in your life however and now they are away it can be hard.  I'm not talking about a little weekend trip away from each other.  I'm talking about gone for a month or maybe even six.
What is it in us that keeps us going?  What gives us that drive to get up in the morning and not sulk and be depressed that you don't get to see the person you love everyday like you did before they left.  Life keeps moving on and if you stop and don't keep living then you are missing out on a beautiful life.
I thank God everyday that I have another day on earth with the ones I love.  Sure I have my bad days, my really bad days, and my extremely amazing days but something in me keeps me wanting more.  I want to do great things in my life and have many experiences. 
Being able to talk to the person you love while they are gone is a great way to still feel like they are near.  Missing someone in my opinion never gets easier even with the help of technology.  Until I see the person I love in front of me the 'missing you blues' won't go away.

Peace, grace & love
Allie

Birthday: Year 23

So not too long ago I celebrated my 23rd year of life.  This year I was supposed to spend it alone.  Here is the back story for all of you who don't know.

The parentals & myself.

So for the past few years now I have been just doing the dinner with friends and family for my birthday because let's be honest its just another day.  So I started noticing that with every year I celebrated fewer and fewer people were joining me for my birthday dinner.  My mom missed a few due to taking cruises with my grandma during my birthday, and I haven't celebrated with my brother for the longest time due to us going to different colleges and living far away from each other.  It got to the point that last year it was just my dad and I celebrating year 22 of life together.  Don't get me wrong we had a nice time and went to a nice restaurant but its just kind of nice to spend your birthday with more than 1 person.

When this year rolled around I told everyone that I had to celebrate my birthday alone because every year prior people were dropping like flies.  They all laughed and agreed that this year would be different and that I would be celebrating with many people.

They were absolutely correct!  So what did I do for my birthday you ask.  I had told my parents that I wanted to go to dinner with my friends and with them as well of course!  I told them that we could go anywhere it just had to be somewhere I had never been.  Suggestions were taken and reservations were made and we were on our way to the mystery restaurant.

My mom told me in that excited mom voice, 'you're going to have soo much fun!' I don't know about you but when my mom uses that voice I tend to get nervous.  It means that it would be fun for here but for me, who knows.  We wound up at a Greek restaurant called Taverna Yamas.  I have to admit I was a little leary as we were walking up to the doors of the restaurant.  The music was pumping and the floor was littered with napkins.

It turned out to be one of the best birthdays.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time there at the restaurant and the entertainment was great.  How often do you get to break a plate in a restaurant on your birthday???

So I guess I owe my mom a thanks for a great birthday!  Thanks mom love you! :)

Peace, grace & love,
Allie